Thy Will Be Done

Overlooking the fields of opportunities
One of them includes you.
Located on the highest tower
Reminiscing and Dreaming,
Continuously achieving salvation,
Standing on a balcony,
waiting for a sign,
not wanting to move into action
with those sincere words
that act as closed gates
that continually repeat in my head
remembering the pain,
but desires to move forward,
whether it be intimacy or amity
only upon His will.

Actions speak louder than words.

Acknowledging your presence,
with no attachment
or fidelity.
Only to what is limited
by your sincere words.
Hiding behind walls,
books, and papers,
your existence still remains in me
wanting to move forward
leaving the door open
for that opportunity
to belong to you.

Not again.

But, to start anew.

Actions speak louder than words.

I long for your confirmation.
Here, I stand
waiting
patiently waiting
for what His plan has to offer
for me
for you
for us.

The Life I Live By and the Words I stand by.

A lifetime of opportunities fall before me.
Having only one step to take.
No one said life would be so easy.
So, here’s to another step in life.

Many times before now, I have journeyed through mistakes. However, I never look back on how any of them could be regrets. I am the person I am because of them. Each moment of my life present till future, will I breathe in any opportunity to help me grow. I pray every morning, a couple times during the day, and even in the evening. I look to God for comfort and strength. It’s only Him will I be able to conquer anything that gets in the way of my life.

Yet, there’s this one person I can’t get out of my mind. Literally. I sigh each time I think about what our relationship has become. It’s come to the point in life where it’s no where near the foundation of building anew a friendship. This one person not only is an important person in my life, but this person was always looking out for me, my true potential, knew me from the inside and out… I let this person go years ago due from a fabricated friendship. I was so stupid for having to “think” that it was the only way to reach my “true potential” and my “goal.” It was all artificial. Now, what has it become? Nothing but meaningless small conversations. Or even yet, strangers passing by from time to time. This fabricated friendship is still present and is beginning to be formed with other people linking onto this fabricated friendship of mine. Trust then becomes an issue.

Going back to this important person, I purposely did not choose to hurt this person. I only was given a choice founded on gullible and ambiguous beliefs. If only there was one simple way to get this person back without showing that I don’t need anything but their friendship back. My pure heart intentions is to show this person I care. My heart cries because of what I had done so wrongly. I want to fix things again. It may not be for the greater good, but its a start of the gift of forgiveness and possibly a friendship.

I only live to pour out my soul and cries to the Lord, asking Him what I shall do in every second of my day. This time, I only turn to what God has been teaching me this whole time. The act of courage, holding on to the strength He has shown us, the grace He has poured on us to pour to others, to show love to others with no ambiguity or carrying of a sin, and on top of that to only fear Him. Whatever this act of trying to rebuild a relationship may end up, I trust in God, that this one important person will be taken care of, even if they were not in my life.

Side note: My heart may be ready for you to act upon it, but my mind isn’t. I adore you. And you know it too.

A Missing Letter

Today I got a special letter.

The letter gave me options to choose.  I don’t know which one to choose, but I’ll choose all of it because it makes me happy I don’t understand it, but as long as I’m happy, then I’m happy.

That’s all that matters right?

ANyways… I liked this quote

“The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adenture, of experience.  THe tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.  He goes “sight-seeing.”

This reminds me of New York because we were nothing more than tourists.  Our date was actually interesting because we were just passive.  It was actually nice to people watch, and now, i can’t stop but to think about my experience in New York.  THe traverlor was active reminds me of all the times we took taxis.  Gosh, if ic ould relate this to a cali experience, I would relate it to someone who always drives me.   I mean.  When a traveler take sa tourist on a date doesn’t that mean i’m experiencing new sights right?

Man.. What a day…  I can’t stop thinking about himmm

A date to remember.

WOW! What an amazing date. This will forever make me remember the times I walked down the street of NYC just too look at lights, buildings, 20 dollar bags.. ( I believe he could have gotten it for 10). I mean he bought a stupid 20 dollar sticker. Who on earth does that? Any ways, he said it’s just for fun.. I guess he just likes to help people.
So when we flew back, the plane shook a lot, and we flew over the grand canyon. Oh, it was sooo prettyyy. <3. Anyways, I thought the date went great, even though things didn’t go as planned. I am all fresh and set for school. I hope it was really worth it because now, my mind is ready to get straight A’s. After all.. we have a contract going on. A SPECIAL contract if I get straight A’s. Only HE knows this. Hehehh

So, in regards to living life to the fullest, there was actually an interesting quote that I read. It stated “Perfection is not the key, but it is the striving that is important.” I have realized that I must strive to be perfect to live in a world that is not perfect. I mean there is no such thing as a perfect person, but there is such a thing as striving to be a perfect person. That means a lot to me. As I venture into my studies, I will strive to be the most perfect person possible. I will bring happiness and joy to friends and families, and I will bring the greatest happiness to the people who I can make a difference in.

Another quote that caught my attention was this “to reach your dreams, it takes… time, patience and faith… faith moves mountains.”
It looks like that I need to take time and to have patience because as my faith in God continues to Grow, on HE can guide me in the direction he wants me to. This amazes me on how God works, because I truly believe that faith moves mountains.. Besides, God created mountains right? I enjoy the fact how God has created me life and how he has created the person who I am. He has taught me so much that I am going to let everyone watch and see that Im going to be “somebody” in God’s works.

The New Year Life..

I’ve been wondering how life will take me. I have met the most amazing people, and yet, I still have to realize where I belong. There are so many pathways to choose from, but there is only one person who has been guiding me in the direction that I want to be in. I have worked so hard in high school, and now, I feel like college has brought so much drama in my life.

Where will God bring me?
Well, i’ve ventured into the east coast looking for a refresher in life, a distance away from home, and most importantly, an adventure that I will cherish forever. I know that it will bring great memories as i age, but at times, I wonder if this is the place to refresh my mind? I mean, its the “big apple” isnt it? This is where dreams come true, skyscrappers rise, and some fallll…. But when it falls… it hurts everyone… The people who created it, the people who worked on it, the people who maintain it, and the people who destroyed it… It just shows that hard work can fail at times… and those who plan to destroy it will just end up hurting everyone.

So, This year. i have a new plan.

A plan that will work, and a plan that I have been working since age 1. It’s God’s plan. I am going to follow my dreams. If things get in the way, i’ll let it change my life, but i’ll never let it change the person who I am.

I have a passion. It is to care for the people who I love. It is to watch out for people who I care. It is to create a bond that doesn’t exist but only within an internal mind. It is through dreams that I believe will motivate me to get to places that are unimagineable.

Life… You can’t live life without a dream. Everyone needs a dream! People need to realize that dreams bring in a reward in life, and it is through the dream that will make one achieve it. It just amazes me how people can let their dreams go by when they have everything given to them. I mean, everyone should work towards his/her dream, but there are just some of those people who have everything in life, and they just live life partying… and living life to the fullest. i’m jealous.. I wish I had that life, but I still have a better life knowing that I will follow my dream till the day I die.

[This part is dedicated to my NYC date]
My story amazes some people, but others already knowit. Only one person in my life knows me for me. If I could give that person anything, then I would. I have never gotten a chance to tell anyone my whole life story because people would judge me. However, this one person knows me, and is willing to help me bring me closer to God. What can I do to ever repay that person? The only gift i can give is the kindness of my heart, and my friendship. So the least favor i can do is to take my special NYC date to a place where dreams can come true, and reality can be seen at a different level. I hope this NYC date will help this person because this person really needs a break from reality.

This post has been hacked with much <3 and support… -JEMJEM ^_-

My Unbelievable Climb

Two days later, I was able to breath after the many tragedies that had poured down on me all at the same time.

Five days later, feelings of discouragement and amorous vibes disappeared.

A week later, my heart started beating again at a normal pace having the many realizations of experiences and matters of moments take over my mind.

With the surrounding of warm whispers, touch of kindness and love, acts of attraction, playful laughter, and most importantly, the feeling of being cared for unexpectedly- took me by the hand and comforted my heart, soul, and mind.

My whole body surrenders and now I’ve been living like I’ve never lived before.

All because of You.

Reality Dreaming

I dreamt of you again… yet, it felt so real.

I wake up. Feeling upset to the fact that my dreams were the closest to reality about you.

It’s impossible to feel what is not really there. When deep down inside your heart, your true feelings come crying out for an escape. Everyday I wake up, my thoughts start racing about the possibilities of us meeting again. No matter how desperate I get in wanting to hear your voice, I pace myself in my duties to forget. The days get closer and time gets smaller, till I see you. Until then, I hope to get the answer to my the question I wake up with every morning.

-

I heart you.

=)

It’s funny what smiles can do a person. It could be either making another pee in his/her pants, get butterflies in his/her tummy, make a person’s day, or even fall in love.

Adapting a lifestyle

Applying myself to the new atmosphere has made me realize a lot of things. I’m slowly inhaling all these experiences which adapted me into a whole new chapter in my life. Understanding life on a different perspective level has got me shocked and zapped many times. Yes. This is definitely a good thing. When I get back to my .. hmm.. new home I guess I may say? Unfortunately, I’ll be back to my old life. Hopefully by then I’ll be able to use what I’ve adapted here and bring it with me to.. um… home. However, I’m counting the days till I get home. I can’t wait. Its definitely different here and staying here, it’s actually making me homesick. On top of that, I’ve been bitten with so many mosquitos that I swear I feel like I have the chicken pox!

Here’s a shocker: My 90 year old grandpa is officially staying at the hospital. It’s quite scary seeing him weak like this.I was so use to seeing him so strong and healthy. Now, he’s fragile and weak and ill. My family and I are all so scared but praying only to where God allows him to be. I love my grandpa so much. Seeing him, standing next to him on the hospital bed, seeing all those wires attached to him, seeing how painful he is taking in all these illness and sickness, makes me want to cry. I stopped myself however, because I knew my grandpa was doing his best and all he can to stay alive. I asked him how he was doing and he said, I’m still alive. He’s adorable. Sigh. I only stand 12 inches from him and he couldn’t recognize me, nor could he hear me. He has been having many hallucinations. Sigh. What was even more heartfelt was his tears that ran down his cheek when he saw my mother and I. And so I pray…

Protected: Erica’s Journey to Adventure Part 3

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